All men are like grass...the grass withers and the flowers fall...

I have just officially completed week 9 of my internship (I had to re-count the weeks because it's unreal how quickly this week went!)

Many of you know by now (and I'm sure many of you don't) that there was a typhoon this past Tuesday night through Wednesday morning.

Before the typhoon came I was going to post about my weekend...but then the typhoon came and I was left speechless for a while.  I can't even remember what I was going to say about my weekend--probably something about suddenly becoming culturally exhausted but how it's all part of the process (I had been processing a lot of cultural communication things--it was really fun, fascinating and frustrating at the same time...these will have to wait till another time).  How am I feeling now?  Well the typhoon seems to have knocked out all my frustrations and actually, I feel as if my entire brain was turned upside down.  ...especially since I've spent the last two months researching all-things-typhoon.

But before I speak of the typhoon...here's a brief summary of some of the things I've been able to do these past two weeks
-Visited CCT (Center for Community Transformation) in Manila [a really big cdv NGO in the Philippines with all different ministries; hosted two Covenant interns in the past; was one of my potential internship hosts]
-Shopped at Divisoria in Manila - huge shopping...place...  it seemed to me like two or three streets of shops/malls...but market like (both indoor and outdoor market).  Bargain prices!  I bargained in Chinese.  It was fun :)  Bought lots of gifts.  Keep your eyes on your bags and money.
-I have been attending SVCF large group meetings (StateVarsity - otherwise known as InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) at UP (University of the Philippines) Thursday nights.  I've really been enjoying the fellowship of my brothers and sisters there :)
-Visited various coffee shops - did a lot of coding, analysis and writing this week.  I feel as if my head might fall off...but I am SO blessed to have the translator that I have.  She is beyond wonderful.  I feel as if I have a partner in my research.  I think I need to write an entry devoted to her.  Perhaps next week.


Typhoon
The typhoon this past week was a bit emotionally traumatic for me.  I am doing much better now, but my heart is still heavy and my head is full of unanswered questions.  It's strange for me to experience a little of what I've been researching--but at the same time, not experience it at all (we'll get to this point later).

I'm going to apologize in advance if I say anything that sounds offensive--that's not my intention.  Please also note that these are just some of my personal, raw thoughts.  I've chewed on them for a couple of days and my jaw is starting to hurt.  There are a lot of things I don't know and there may be facts I have gotten wrong.

This was the first time I've faced a natural disaster and actually worried about people.  That sounds a bit insensitive...but hear me out.  Usually when I've face natural disasters (like hurricanes or tornadoes) no one I know is in great danger:  we all have sturdy homes, friends with sturdy homes, food, water, candles, flashlights, cars, and emergency shelters.  I know that there are people who are not as fortunate as I, but because I did not know any personally, I didn't worry.  I prayed, but I didn't really sweat over those prayers.  I meant those prayers, but those prayers did not come from someone shaking or being challenged in her own faith as she prayed. 

I couldn't sleep the night of the storm--not because I was afraid, but because I knew there were others who could not sleep.  Others I knew.  They were the people I spent the past two months interviewing (about their previous typhoon experiences, their fears, their anticipation of the upcoming typhoon season).  They were my brothers and sisters from church.  I knew they would be up all night cleaning their homes from the flood, elevating things, or wondering if their houses were going to last until morning.  I knew their foundations were shaking--literally.  I tossed and turned and prayed and prayed.  My mind continually turned to scripture that stated that our God is the Solid Rock, the Strong Tower, the Light in the darkness.  Storms in life never seemed more real. 

I woke up in the morning--restless--but the sky was no longer black and the wind no longer roaring.  It was kind of a surreal experience after 7+ hours of stormy weather.  There were many fallen trees, destroyed crops, and muddy streets in our neighborhood.  Some church members' homes had flooded and were covered in mud.  There were some reports of deaths from neighboring barangays.  A member of a sister church drowned.  There were power outages throughout the entire island of Luzon.  A group of people were struck by lightning during the storm and also died.  There were a number of shipwrecks on the coasts (many deaths).  Much of Manila is still without power. 

This was a category 1 storm.  Category 1.  I just can't get over the differences in my experience of a category 1 storm in the Philippines and category 1 storms in Florida (I don't even know which storms were category 1...I only paid attention when hurricanes were category 3 or higher...that's when they actually "matter").  Therefore, I have decided that although scientific categories are important, damages anticipated have less to do with the scientific category and more to do with the physical state of the people where the calamity is taking place.

I cannot believe that the people here face about 20 typhoons a year!  Meaning, some people are forced to hit the restart button on their lives 20 times a year.  At the same time, there are many people who are virtually unaffected by the storm (like our neighborhood--we only had a 24 hour brownout [power outage] and fallen trees--and most people near and on UP campus).  I went to a college fellowship group the next night and no one spoke of the storm.  I asked my host about it later; she suggested that because they are students, they are unlikely to have heard any news updates of the storm.  I was also surprised to find out that many Filipinos didn't have their first experience of a flood until living many years in the Philippines.  The devastating effects of the storms are generally pinpointed on the poor who cannot afford structurally sound hosing or be choosy on the location of their homes.

So, yes, now I have an experience of a typhoon in the Philippines...but at the same time, I don't have any experience.  My experience has been nothing like those whose homes flooded, like those whose homes collapsed, or like those who lost loved ones.  I am struggling to understand and piece these seemingly contradictory things together.  How can things be so similar and yet, so different?  How can people be so close to calamity and know nothing of it?  How can I have experienced a typhoon and yet, understand so little about the lives of those I have been interviewing--or, perhaps, this thought just occurred to me--I really am understanding more.  I'm understanding how little I understand.

I have been very encouraged these past couple of days with the e-mails I've received from my friends back home.  I am blessed to have friends who bear my burdens and share the heaviness of my heart.  Every time someone shared, "My heart is heavy for you and for the Filipino people," I felt my own burden lighten.  Thank you :)

One friend pointed me to one of her favorite passages - Isaiah 40.  It has been very helpful to me and I've resonated with it very much.  Things are seemingly hopeless and yet, they are not because our Lord is the Lord of all Creation!

I started this entry with "All men are like grass..." and I want to end it by saying:

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:  Who created all these?  He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.  Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. ...  Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Adventures, Langgam, Feelings, and Pictures

[langgam = ants]

I'm in my 8th week now.  Unbelievable :)  It's a strange feeling to know that my internship is more "complete" than "incomplete"  

Work
I'm not any further along in coding or analysis because I'm still waiting on my translator.  In the meantime I've been reading and journaling and enjoying the company of my host family.  And I wrote some papers!

Life
I love having my supervisor back!  She's such a joy to be around!  Some of our family adventures in the last two days include:  
Operation Food:  I got to cook dinner again :)  This time my host mother helped me (because she's home from Rwanda) and it cut cooking time in half!!  
Operation Medicine Cabinet:  My host parents and I visited hardware stores to find a medicine cabinet for the downstairs bathroom and looked at mugs and African art and pretty lights and admired shower heads and bathroom tiles and...then I stuck my hands in a model urinal and pretended to wash them because I thought it was a model sink.  Yeah.  It was funny.
Operation Get Dinner:  drove through the pouring rain (through many flooded areas...the motorcyclists were wading through the water...it was really very eye opening for me...I think it had only been raining for an hour) stopped at the grocery store and bought food to cook for dinner...and it rained and rained and rained.
Mission Ant:  Pastor Benjie bought a new vacuum specifically for this purpose.  We're waging war.  Today we vacuumed ants. 

Other adventures of the weekend include:
-Two coffee dates.
-Awesome realization of our "small world" and evidence that God knows what he's doing!
-Met two new friends!  (One who is a soil scientist at IRRI [which I'm actually nervous mentioning because I now know about the IRRI blog filter and newsletter secret!  but since I've decided to mention it anyway...Hello!  I think the work you guys are doing at IRRI is really fantastic!] and one who is a student at Wheaton College, interning in Manila with an organization I'm planning to visit in the next two weeks!  Crazy right?)
-Ate delicious blueberry coffee cake (provided by my new friends).  Yum.  It made me miss my roommate.  We like blueberry everything :)
-Walking in the rain and not being splashed by passing vehicles!  All the drivers are so considerate!  Or maybe I was lucky? 


Feelings
I'm finally beginning to feel at home here and now there's only a month left.  It's a weird mix of anticipation and unwillingness.  I can't wait to go home and hug my mommy, daddy, and little brother (little brother who's not so little anymore!  wah.  He's going to Calvin College this fall...maybe my parents will pick me up on their way to drop him off so that I can participate in his send off; that'd be fun!  Mommy, any comments on this?) and being in our home and sleeping in my bed and driving my car and eating cereal and oatmeal and oranges and using chopsticks and suches.  I'm looking forward to being back at Covenant with my good friends and taking classes and studying in the library and spending time with the crazy wonderful girls on my hall.  But I really like the pace of life here.  I like taking it easy.  I like the sense of humor.  I like the fresh fruit and yummy desserts!  And I like my new friends!  And I'm not looking forward to graduating!  I like college.  I like Covenant College.

I'm really learning a lot more than I write about.  I feel bad that my blogs don't do justice to that learning for you.  I don't think I will be able to process all that I'm taking in until I've gone back to the US because I'm sure there are many things I will not see until I'm in the future looking back.  Also...75% of what I'm learning has nothing to do with my research.  I think I'm mostly learning about God's faithfulness and providence; His love and provision for his people.  And my heart?  It's so much less anxious because of it.

Other:
If this van does not remove itself from my window now I might pass out from inhaling carbon monoxide.  Please.  Leave.

Also, my first batch of pictures are up (from the first two weeks or so of my internship):  Click Here

Cleaning, Travels, and Volcanoes

Well!  I'm halfway through week 7.  Goodness!  It's all downhill from here, I suppose.  It's been difficult being finished with data collection because now I feel really really useless and unproductive again.  I'm waiting for my translator to finish translating our last 45 interviews so that I can start coding and analyzing...Here's what I've been up to these last couple of days...

Thursday
Did a lot of cleaning and celebrating the completion of my data collection in the morning (celebrating, meaning, not writing).  But I had to get my bottom back to work after the morning because I had a number of assignments due.  Went with Pastor to visit his extended family (they live about 2 hours away in the province of Batangas) in the afternoon.  I did quite a bit of writing on the road.  Got home around 11pm.

Friday
Again, a day devoted to writing.  Wrote an informal interim report for Dr. Mask (translation: a really really long e-mail), edited a whole bunch of interview transcripts, completed my weekly log, and finally finished my expanded fieldnotes :D!  I'm actually tempted not to write any more fieldnotes because Dr. Mask said he accepts interview transcripts as fieldnotes... whoohoo!!  But I feel kind of guilty not writing anymore fieldnotes.  I'm not sure if it's false guilt though.  Help? 

Saturday
Went to the home of the two sisters and their family again.  Painted the gate with the boys.  Got sunburned for the first time in my life.  Ouch.  I am now able to empathize with others in the pain of burning skin.  Washed a lot of dishes (I don't know why this chore I previous despised brings me so much comfort now) and did a lot of baby holding (oh so much joy!).  I learned that I also really like jack-fruit!  It's fun to eat!  oh and masarap! (very delicious!)  But it has a super strong smell.  Oh well!  Small price to pay.  Walked home and spent some time just lounging around and reading in the one a/c room in the house.  Played the keyboard.  Got frustrated.  Went back to reading. 

Sunday
Church :)!  It's great worshiping with Christians across the ocean and it's been a huge blessing to be able to worship in a language I understand.  I had not really thought about it before, but it really is comforting to sing songs I know (especially the first couple of weeks here).  Though, I get really excited on the weeks when we sing Tagalog songs!  Those are the real jewels, in my opinion.  But it's a blessing to sing in English nonetheless.  The rest of the service is in Tagalog though, so I can only guess what's being said.  The sermon is the most difficult part.  I try really hard to put puzzle pieces together based on the bits of English I hear mixed with the minimal Tagalog I've picked up and the Bible passage I have in front of me.  But what I get is really basic.  Same goes for Sunday school.  Although it's good to be reminded of the basics week to week, I realized that I've been missing my regular feedings!  So for the past three weeks I've been downloading sermons from New City Fellowship to listen to on my own, which have brought me lots and lots of joy!!  Thank you internet!  And thank you people who faithfully record and upload sermons!

After morning service and Sunday school (guys, I totally memorized the wrong verses for homework...ahh!!  so I crammed the correct memory verses into my head 5 minutes before Sunday school in fear that I would be required to stand in the back of the classroom for the following hour.  I was beating myself over the head about my carelessness, but I managed to memorize it so...now I have double the verses memorized!  yay!) I went with four other youth to one of the church members' home for lunch.  We ate and sat around watching TV (Filipinos REALLY like to sing.  Like...really.  Even their TV shows capture people singing!  We watched 2 hours of singing.  How?  Haha) until it was time for us to go back to church for the afternoon service...about 3:30pm.  Rehearsed music for the afternoon service, attended the afternoon service, went to the market with Pastor to buy fruit (yay!  But it's not a good idea to walk around the market in heels...Note to self:  carry flip-flops in your bag because you never know what's coming next), went home, showered, watched a movie on the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, ate dinner, went to bed. 

Monday
Cleaned and read.  Home alone most of the day.  I watched an episode of Glee on TV and a game from the world cup!  Finally!  Korea and Uruguay.  The TV was fuzzy and it's not as fun to watch football alone, but I was very content.  Then in the afternoon I read the newspaper.  One article on the world cup...was informed that the game I watched that morning was a replay and that the US was already out of the running.  Lots of articles concerning the swearing in of the new president "Noynoy" Aquino.   

Tuesday
Went with Pastor and Jairus and Hapi to pick up Ate Malu from the Manila airport.  An event that began at 2pm and ended at 2am.  Crazy Manila traffic.  Went to Starbucks!  [Starbucks looks the same across the ocean]  Ordered a non-fat, no-whip, caramel macchiato...yum.  The familiarity of the sights, sounds, and smells reminded me of being back in the US...aroma of coffee-yes, but the smell of cigarettes-not so much.  Visited the National Book Store--largest bookstore chain in the Philippines.  Oh I really like books.  I had to keep reminding myself that I cannot/should not buy books--too heavy for my luggage.  P.s.  It's great to have my supervisor back! 

Wednesday
Holiday!  (Because the president was sworn in).  So we, as a family, went to Tagaytay!  To see the smallest active volcano in the world!  We couldn't go to close though because it's currently really really active.  Took lots of pictures!  My eyes hurt because I was so tired from the day before so...pictures of me--not so great.  I kept praying that my energy levels would stay up so that I could enjoy my first touristy type thing, but it was quite a struggle since I couldn't keep my eyes open (they stung).  I really wanted to rip my contacts out, but I don't think that would've helped.  I need to buy sunglasses.  We were all pretty exhausted.  It was very beautiful though.  There were fresh fruits and flowers everywhere!  Slept the whole way home (2 hours) and slept when I got home (another 2 hours), went to the prayer  meeting, had dinner, and could not fall asleep even though I was exhausted! 

Thursday (Today!)
Still tired, but couldn't sleep in if I tried.  Got up, ate breakfast, and cleaned in the morning (wow, apparently I really like to clean).  I was able to catch up on returning some e-mails, blogged...  Going to meet one of my new friends at a coffee shop for a study date in an hour!  Going to walk there!  45-minute walk here I come!  Friends, coffee, studying, date, walking...such good good things.

Oh wow.  The week is almost over.  I'm working on posting pictures, but facebook is making me frustrated.  But I promise, by the end of this week. 

Other Noteable Notes
-We've had vegetables at my last 6 meals!  I. Am. So. Happy!!  But now when my host parents say, "You finish this."  I feel that I must finish it for their sake.  I am much more content finishing a whole papaya or vegetable dish than another chicken leg though :)
-It's rained everyday for the past four days.  Cool air - such a blessing.
-Exchanged money by myself for the second time (first time was in the airport).  Pastor came with me and walked up to the window and then turned around and told me he would wait for me in the car.  I nodded and walked up to the counter:  "Okay, you're just exchanging money.  You watched Ate Malu do this.  You can do it by yourself.  And if you get confused, just start speaking in English and they'll get the idea that you only know English."  Exchanged my money.  Went to the car.  Pastor said, "The lady in front of you in line was one of my college classmates, that's why I left."  Hahahahaha.

Grace and Peace!

Apat, Lima, Anim!

[Four, Five, Six!] - yeah, I'm running out of title ideas.

Thoughts:

• Filipinos are all over the world.  Seriously.  A large percentage of the population is employed overseas.  Actually, when you go through customs in the airport there are special lines for "Overseas Filipino Workers."  I had been really surprised when the two men I sat next to on the plane said they were returning home from Africa and Australia...but now I know it's actually very common.  Unemployment rates are very high here and college graduates rarely find a job in their field of study.  Many of them end up working as operators for overseas products.
• I miss home.  It's not a desperate kind of I want to hop on the next flight out kind of missing home, but just a quiet longing.  The encouraging thing is, spending time with the people here is easing the pain of missing home rather than exacerbating it!  :)
• I've spent at least five days in each barangay conducting interviews or just walking around.  It's been really encouraging for me to recognize people now and to have them recognize me as well.  I like all the smiling and waving.  I'm not naive enough to think that those are representative of me being in the in-group, but it's definitely growing rapport!
• I miss China.  It's strange (but good) to be in a country that's not China and it's strange that China is so close but so far away and it's strange that everybody at OCECC in Florida is preparing to go to China and I'm not.  This is the first STM our church has organized that I haven't been involved in.  I guess you could say I'm a little jealous thinking that in two weeks a number of my good friends will be playing ridiculous games with students and walking miles and miles to have picnics by a river and dancing in the park.  Oh, and playing hangman as a teaching tool.  But don't worry guys, we use umbrellas here for the sun too!  And there's bubble tea :)
• It's still hot.
• I lost my umbrella this week.  Now I have funny tan lines.
• I really like coconuts!  the smell!  the taste!  the everything!  You can make a lot of things with coconuts.  Mm...but I think I mostly like the smell of coconut milk.
• My legs are really sore from running up and down the stairs.  Kind of embarrassing.
• Soccer isn't big in the Philippines :(  No world cup news from me.  I'm a bit bummed.  Actually, really bummed.

Updates & Prayer:

• Praise God I have completed a total of 97 interviews!!  :)  I'm almost finished with week six...still haven't written my interim report, but have finished all my interviews [hm a little backward].  Things kind of didn't go as planned, but that was expected.  I passed out a number of questionnaires to the youth at the church last week, hopefully I will get at least 90% of those back.  All that's left is a whole bunch of writing and coding and analysis and reporting.  And then play!!  I really like that everybody's attitude has been "Finish your research so we can go play!"  I'm good with that.  That's what Chinese people do too!  Work hard then play hard.  But yeah...work isn't over yet.  I still have a ton of writing to do.  I'd appreciate prayer for that.
• Continued prayer for faithfulness and good stewardship of my time.
• Humility in my work and in using my knowledge.
• Wisdom in coding, analyzing, and reporting my data.  I think Pastor wants me to report to the entire church.  Hm.  Yeah, that makes me a little nervous.
• Pray that God will prepare me to serve as RA again this coming semester and pray that He is growing each of the girls on the hall.  Most of the RAs have received a list of their hallmates.  I--have not.  Pray for wisdom for me in discerning God's plan for the hall and how I can best serve him in cultivating that plan and not my own.

Isa, Dalawa, Tatlo!

[One, Two, Three!]

Okay back to numbers!

1. There is only one knob to the faucet:  no "hot" and "cold", just "little water" and "a little more water."  Sometimes my showers are freezing (which is nice) and other times my showers are so hot I have to get out and wait a couple hours (that's what happens when you live near a volcano).  I run my fingers through my hair at least 40 times to rinse out shampoo and 80 more times to rinse out conditioner because I don't believe the water pressure is actually washing it out of my hair (yes, I'm counting).
2. My host dog (...that sounds strange) has finally stopped barking at me whenever he sees me.  I knew my stares would get to him!  I win!
3. I have a cup of tea or coffee every morning.  Pastor Benjie is a coffee lover so we have real coffee (most Filipinos drink instant coffee).  Awesome.  The local coffee here is really really good.  I think I should bring some home.  Tea = also awesome, but not as awesome as tea in China.  I wish we had some chai especially since Dr. Mask keeps asking me about "chai drinking"--which is really funny because he knows there isn't chai in the Philippines.  Oh well.
4. Today, when no one was home, I took the opportunity to have a dance party by myself (actually because I saw Becky's suggestion to Dave as a distraction for loneliness; I figured I'd give it a try).
5. I also ran up and down the stairs 20 times because I miss walking up the 5 flights of stairs to my dorm room.  Only 20 times because it got too hot.
6. I got down on my hands and knees to clean the wood floor in my room, even though there is a mop in the house.
7. I like cassava chips.  yum.
8. I'm still eating mangoes everyday.
9. One of our neighbors got a karaoke machine...we had free concerts everyday from 8am to 10pm.  No kidding.  This went on for two weeks.  But school started last week so it's been much quieter. 
10. In addition to the kind of nonsense things I did today, I got a lot of work done! 

Prayer

• I'm having a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning (not a hard time waking up, just a hard time getting up) because I just kind of dread the day ahead of me even though I know, from experience, it's going to be a good day.  It's like there's this big boulder on me...but it's not that I want to sleep more...I'm just completely restless rolling around in my bed...which isn't that comfortable because it's so hot that I'd much rather be up...but not really because there's a boulder I have to push off first.  So this is really kind of a practical thing, but I've been trying to make the first thing I do each day, even before getting out of bed, prayer.  It's been helpful to remind myself that my motivation for the day and for my life is Christ.  Pray that this will become a habit.
• Pray for rain.  It rains everyday...but just not at my home!  So...it's hot.  And it's like having someone hold an ice cream cone in front of me after I run 6 miles in the sun and then watching him eat it without sharing.
• Pray for those whose homes are flooding because of the rain.
• As usual, pray for an attitude of humility.  Pray for patience.  Pray for God's love to abound more and more.  Pray for my faithfulness and obedience.  Oh yeah, so basically, pray that I would grow in the fear of the Lord.

Grace and peace to you!

Cooking, Grumbling, and Music

Hi all!  I'm actually feeling a bit empty as I sit down to write this blog post   It's getting more and more difficult to think of things to write as my thoughts become more continuous and part of everyday life.  I'd make a list, but I think I've forgotten how.  So bear with me as I ramble.  Hopefully you will find some treasures in this mess :)

Friday:  Cooked dinner for my host family.  Success.  Started cooking at 5pm, didn't get dinner on the table until 9pm.  I don't think I've ever sweated that much from working in the kitchen before, but then, my kitchen has always been air conditioned.  (I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but being in the Philippines is like being in a sauna for the majority of the day...crazy!  I didn't think certain parts of my body could sweat--but they can!)  It was my first time cooking over a stove where you had to light the fire and really couldn't control the temperature of the flame.  I did a lot of holding the skillet away from the stove...actually, I did a lot of juggling to cook 4 different things over 2 flames.  Filipinos eat dinner quite late, so 9pm is really okay.  It's just good that I planned ahead and started at 5...  My stove/oven back home make me so spoiled!  Oh and I sorely miss chopsticks!!  I had to use two spoons to pick things up out of the ginormous steamer...WAYYY less practical than chopsticks.  But that's just my opinion  :P

Saturday:  Woke up at 5am and went jogging around UP campus (University of the Philippines) with my younger host brother, Joshua, and two other girls from church.  I have never seen that many people up and moving about that early in the morning!  The park was full of runners and there was even an outdoors aerobics class taking place!  After running I went to one of the girl's homes.  Four of the boys from church were at her house.  Her mom had hired them to paint the outside of their house.  Most of the day was spent preparing, serving, and cleaning up merienda (snacks) and lunch for our hardworking boys.  I was able to learn to squeeze fresh coconut milk.  Mmm!!  Oh and I marinated meat for the first time in my life!  After all that, we joined the boys outside and helped with the painting.  One of the boys teased me and said that there is hope for me yet--as a painter!  haha.  It was fun and exhausting.  I think we're going to do it again next Saturday!  Around 4pm we all piled into a car and went to church for Praise Team practice.  That lasted until 8pm.  But of course, we had merienda around 6pm.  Yay for always having merienda!  Then we got home around 9pm and had dinner.

Sunday:  Went to church at 7:30am for Praise Team practice.  Oh!  I just realized that I've never described the church to you.  The church is an open church, meaning there are no walls.  [Pastor Benjie likes to say to people that the church was built with no walls because the church is open to everybody--and that really sticks with people!  I've heard multiple people mention it during my interviews].  I have over 30 mosquito bites on each leg thanks to my time spent at the church (note:  only my legs.  strange!).  There is a ceiling--with ceiling fans--and pillars supporting it.  The floor is marble and the pews are plastic.  Each pew seats about four people and they are divided into four sections.  I've never counted how many rows though...  There is a raised pavilion, the stage.  The stairs going up on both sides of the sanctuary lead to the office, conference room, and classrooms.  The stairs going down lead to the kitchen, comfort rooms (bathrooms), and more classrooms.  The classrooms are for Grace Christian Community School--a school affiliated with the church, but not run through the church [think New City Fellowship and Hope for the Inner City].

The power went out as the service began.  No mics.  No fans.  No LCD projector.  No words for songs.  No amps for instruments.  Just a lot of heat and people pulling out fans, handkerchiefs, and pieces of paper to fan themselves and those around them.  I, of course, observed the congregation.  People continued with the service.  No one said anything; people just took action.  The youth pulled out a big white board and began to write song lyrics on it.  The liturgist spoke louder.  But then about 15 minutes later, the electricity came back while we were praying!  Thank God!  :)

After the worship service, there's Sunday school.  I'm actually kind of scared of my Sunday school teacher.  He doesn't look at me nor does he speak in English.  I've just decided he's probably scared of me too...or he thinks I'm a bother.  (both probably untrue)  But no big deal.  Whoever sits next to me serves as my translator for the 30 minutes we're in class.  I don't really mind and the youth are becoming more conscious of me and are starting to translate things without my asking.  Our assignment this week is to memorize Romans 8:28-29 and find Bible verses describing certain qualities of the Holy Spirit.  I'm really proud of myself because I picked that up without people translating!!  Oh p.s.  I'm in the college Sunday school class; I think the average age of my class is 17 [people start college at age 16 here].  So it's a bit strange for me.  But it would also be strange for me to join the young professionals fellowship because they're all graduated.  I kind of don't fit very well anywhere.  But that's okay!

After Sunday school I had a short meeting with the youth to pass out and explain some questionnaires I needed them to fill out for me.  It was nice how attentive they were!  It reminded me of teaching in China.  It was also kind of funny to me that once I handed out the questionnaires they began to answer the questions.  Then I explained that I didn't need them back until next Sunday and there was this huge sign of relief (the questionnaire was pretty in-depth).  It shocked me to think that they would have just sat there without a grumble and filled them out, if I had asked them to.  It made me smile.  I know that for them the actions were out of habit and expectation, but it made me think about how the Bible says we should

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life" (Phil 2:14-16a)

It challenged me to think about whether I do what God commands without grumbling.  Am I content with whatever God gives, good and bad?  Do I praise him when things don't go my way?  Do I have the faith to follow His commands no matter how bizarre they seem to me?  What would my life be like if I had the humility to just obey when called instead of pouting and demanding answers, proof, or reasons first?  Hm.

After Sunday school we usually hang around a bit.  For my first couple of weeks here I had been going home with my host mother, Ate Malu (Ate means big sister...it's a term of respect.  All women older than you are called Ate and men older than you are called Kuya, meaning big brother), but since she is in Rwanda and Pastor is busy (yeah, the title pastor is kind of used as a name), I've been hanging around after church.  It's been exhausting to be at church at 7:30am and then not getting home until dark (8pmish?).  I thought I'd be used to by now, but even at OCECC [Orlando Chinese Evangelical Christian Church] we get home by 5pm and that was only before I could drive.  Now when I'm home I just take my own car to church so I can get home by 2pm.  So for the past two Sundays I've hung out with the youth...going out for a meal and then walking around UP or going back to the church to play boardgames.  Around 3:30/4pm the youth begin music practice for the afternoon service (afternoon service is really evening service for all you in the U.S.).  Let me tell you!  These youth are dedicated!  And it's been a privilege to serve beside them.

Yesterday, though, Pastor Benjie was preaching in another city and would not be back for the night, so I spent the night in another pastor's home.  I went to sleep at 10pm because I was so exhausted. But I was up by 6:30.  No alarm.  Maybe I can keep this up and never be late to 8am classes next semester!  Yeah.  We'll see. 

Monday:  It's not over yet, but here's what I've done so far.  I met my translator at church at 9am.  We went to barangay Tadlac to interview.  We completed 8 interviews today.  It was very hot.  It poured a couple times, which just made it even hotter when the sun came out because of the humidity.  100% humidity.  No lie.  Interviewing in Tadlac has been different than interviewing in the other two barangays because we don't have a guide.  We walk house to house greeting people and asking if they've received aid from LBCRC.  It's hard to know how successful we'll be in finding interviewees.  But the Lord provided us with 8 today, which is wonderful because that means tomorrow we only need 7 more!  I'm really thankful that my translator doesn't mind walking, because if I could, I would walk everywhere.  I'm also really thankful that she's not afraid to tell me if she thinks we should ride a tricycle instead because it's too hot.  I got home around 3pm.

Oh!  I stopped by a bakery on my way home because I really like bread.  It was kind of a walk-past-but-then-change-my-mind-and-walk-back kind of thing.  I usually avoid talking to people too because it makes me nervous, but for some reason I had courage today to ask a sales lady for help.  She was really quite a likable person, and kind of out of nowhere she asked me to write down my name and phone number.  As you could probably imagine, I was taken by surprise.  And my natural instinct is to trust people and my gut reaction is always "yes."  (Yeah, I know I know, that's dangerous...I'm working on it!)  So I said, "My phone number?" and she said "Yes. I need you to pray for me."  I didn't know whether she was serious or not because she had been laughing and joking (but Filipinos say most things with smiles on their faces and they like to laugh and joke).  I asked her what she needed prayer for and she just said "for my life and for how to take care of my child."  I told her I would pray for her.  She asked me more about the church and said that she would like to come with me.  I was really feeling like this was a divine appointment kind of thing (like the interview with the mother who has a sick baby...we visited again today, by the way!).  I don't really know what will happen next, but even if it was only for the purpose of a quick prayer on my part, I'm sure it was worth it.

On another note...
Since I've had many more opportunities to hang out with the young people, conversations are moving away from "How are you?" to actual talks of "What do you like?"  "What do you think of ___?"  Instead of questions and answers there is actual conversation and discussion.  Well...okay, one reason why connecting with young people in China has been easy for me (other than knowing the language) is because I am familiar with the popular drama series (think movies except extended across an average of twenty 45-min episodes) music, artists, and actors.  Well!  In the Philippines I don't have that.  Well I didn't think I did until...some of the youth started asking me about drama series I'd watched.  Korean dramas are very popular here, but I haven't watched many of those.  But I found some Taiwanese ones that they were familiar with!  Oh exciting!  So one boy mentioned the name of a Chinese band, tapos (then) I asked if he recognize a song, which I proceeded to sing for him.  Tapos he picked up a guitar and began to play along!  And tapos the other youth started to shush each other to listen!  Talaga (really)!  Something in common!  They had me translate the Mandarin lyrics and then they shared with me the Tagalog lyrics.  My homework this week is to learn to sing the rest of the song and teach it to them.  I should have them teach me the Tagalog version.  Oh I like bonding through music!  I actually...I've made a lot of friends in my life through the common enjoyment of music.

Oh!  Today when I was interviewing, one of the interviewees started to speak to me in Mandarin!  Aye!  So cool!  Oh yeah, so I've been picking up on the Filipino use of "aye" as an expression of surprise.

This is quite a long entry.  Mommy, I'm glad that at least I know you'll like it because you're my mom :)

Siesta - "Nap"

[I actually started this entry on Tuesday...It's Thursday now...]

Guys!  It's officially been over a month since my arrival in the Philippines!  Incredible.  Time is such a strange thing.  How can it move so quickly and slowly at the same time?  It just doesn't make any sense.  But then again, not much in the world makes sense...which makes it awesome!  "Awesome" as in "full of awe".

My supervisor is leading a microfinance training session in Rwanda for two weeks.  When she gets back, I will be halfway done with my internship.  Crazy right?  I'm currently processing my interim report (analyzing data, deciding the next steps to take, etc)...which I'll probably actually write sometime next week because my translator has to take a couple days off for nursing training anyway.

So my host mother is away.  My host sister also just got a job and today was her first day of teaching.  She is in another city and will be back on the weekends.  My younger host brother just had his first day of class today (3rd year of college) so he's also in another city and will be back on the weekends.  So yup, just me and my host father and older host brother.  (Maybe I should start using names?)

I titled this entry "Siesta" because it's the Tagalog word for a nap taken after lunch...and this entry is about one of my days off!  Day off = rest = ...nap.  Okay...a bit of a far reach with that one, but just go with me.

Today [Tuesday] I went with Pastor Benjie (my host father) and Jairus (older host brother) to the theater and watched a movie!  It was really fun!  When the lights went out, the silhouettes of peoples' heads lined up in the theater made me think of popping in a DVD from China, only to find that it was pirated (oh but of course).  I wish I could use my ethnographic skills to describe what it's like to watch a movie in a theater in the Philippines, but I turned off my ethnographic brain today (don't tell Dr. Mask please).  We ate spicy peanuts during the movie--sooo much better than popcorn!  After the movie we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner where they served jasmine green tea (my favorite) and gave us chopsticks!  The food even tasted like Chinese food!  (That's probably good considering it was a Chinese restaurant.  But, I mean, when you go to a Chinese restaurant in the U.S. it doesn't usually taste like Chinese food...).  I was all giddy and bubbly inside--it probably showed a little on the outside too--which got me thinking:  I've been more excited about seeing Chinese things or meeting people who speak Mandarin much more than anything Western.  Maybe because the Philippines and China are similar in many ways, so it's a bit disorienting to see things or taste things or even smell things that are familiar, but in an entirely different setting.  Yeah.  Disorienting is probably the best way to describe the feeling.  So close, yet so far.  One of those kinds of things.  So like...Chinese, but not Chinese.  American, but not American.  Spanish, but not even Spanish.  Filipino culture is really a blended one, which makes it beautiful and also one of wonder for me.  It's taking a long time to figure things out.  You can learn things quickly and yet, not really know anything.

Every week CDV interns have to write a weekly log and turn it into our professors.  One of the questions is always about our cultural adjustment.  Usually we describe how we're doing based on Alder's stages of cultural integration (in emotional terms:  excited, confused, withdrawn, angry, assertive - and then the cycle begins again).  I think I mostly skipped the "excited" stage all together.  Those of you who know me might find that strange since almost anything excites me and I'm very easily amused.  But I was just so nervous, scared, and self-conscious that, well, I didn't show any emotion except whatever emotion smiling portrays.  I think I'm loosening up a bit...so that's good.  It's nice to feel a little bit more at home in my own skin.

I'm going to cook a meal for my host family this Friday :)  I'm so excited!  I hope they like Chinese-Chinese food...that'll probably be disorienting for them too since there's definitely a Filipino version of everything I'm going to make.  Maybe I can buy them all chopsticks too...

Prayer Requests
-It seems that I can never catch up on written work....
-That I remember that my life is His to own.  For a willing heart and steadfast spirit.
-For continued flexibility and good health (so far I've only had minor problems :D and I drink 12 glasses of a water a day yay!)
-For productive use of my time
-Continue to pray for the sick baby I visited.  Last week I saw him and he looked a bit better (more color to his skin, more active, gripped my finger - but it was a pretty weak grip), but he is still very sick.
-That I won't be afraid to invest in people here and that I won't be afraid to let them invest in me (I really dread goodbyes.  I dread goodbyes so much that I think about the day I leave more than the day I arrive.  It's really a very depressing habit of mine!)


**I think I'm more productive the days I blog...so if you don't mind, I think I might blog for my own sake in addition to keeping you updated :) **